Tuesday, December 23, 2008

FARGO....FLORIDA

Hi Everyone,



No pictures this time around. As you know it has been quite some time since I've written. I have been suffering from computer withdrawl. I am now at my cousin's in the Lauderdale area and am using her computer.



Our weather in Naples has been extraordinary! Today it is cloudy and cooler in Plantation...thus the reference above to Fargo(as in ND, or was it SD?)



I have been given this gift of time down here. I was somewhat restless and bored on first arrival, but am quickly learning to use all this down time. As many of you know I was suffering from some anxiety/depression issues before I left. The past year or so just caught up with me. I didn't see it coming at all, one day it just hit me. I am progressing back to my old self. I am using my time here to do some healing and to practice being in the present moment. My biggest discipline is learning and accepting that I am NOT in control of everything in spite of what I think and how I act! Just when I think I have finally learned that lesson some curve ball gets thrown at me and there I am trying to pull all the strings, catch the ball, redirect it, effect the outcome. I end up expending more energy than I have and am soon depleted. Seems I've been working on this problem a lifetime.



Two messages regarding this have come to me while in Naples. The first was a sign in a resturant that Tom spotted: "Panic Now....Avoid the Rush". The second was in the book I read in the morning when I say my prayers. "An optomist expects his dreams to come true. A pessimist expects his nightmares to." Guess which side I lean towards? My Mom always said, "Prepare/expect the worst. If something good happens you can be pleasantly surprised!" Is it any wonder I am like I am? I learned at her knee. She had a rough life starting at a young age and I guess that is how she managed to get through a lot of it. Turning a thought process that has been with me a lifetime takes a lot work. But I am staying with it. I know it would be a far easier way to live.

Until next time....always, Kathleen

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