We tried Christmas Mass. We went to St. Peter the Apostle Catholic Church last night. The decor was beautiful, the music good, all the familiar carols. But as usual the "sermon" disappointing. I love the ritual of my old church. The prayers, and standing, kneeling, singing, the smells that I grew up with. But the other thing that has remained the same is the lack of message. I know not everyone can be a "preacher", but come on, how can this lack of inspiration be so pervasive. I can't believe the Church as we know it can survive. It needs to change and it needs to do more than turn the altar around. I learn so much more about God and His love from the people in my life than from my old teacher. I think, no, I know I am in a different place. I have walked beyond what organized religion has to offer me. I think I have to be my own compass now. I guess "The Church" was my stepping stone. Another old familiar thing that I will say goodbye to.
I look about me and see the imbalance in humanity. I see the suffering and wonder how can this be fair? Is the person who is suffering a deformity here to teach me compassion. Has his or her soul chosen this experience to become more Godlike? Is this how they have chosen to be in service to others? What am I doing for my growth? Where am I supposed to be? Am I going the right way? Am I present to you? Am I wasting the gift of my time? Just questions that I am thinking about. How is it that those who can reach out to the masses don't ask any questions? My guess is they aren't thinking......
Until next time.......As always, Kathleen
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