9 years ago
Sunday, August 21, 2011
It's time now. My busy summer is winding down. No where else to be, no one else to visit. Nothing filling my calender. I have come to a pause. I am at rest. I am alone with my thoughts....
And who should appear? My Tom. He has come in so many ways this past week. Sometimes it is a scent, sometimes it is a song, sometimes it is paper, and of course there are always the sunsets. He comes to me whole. There is no Parkinson's Disease. There are no shoulders refusing to work, to lift, to reach. He is just Tom, as I choose to remember him. I've been able to call him up at a moments notice. I have been able to feel his hand on mine. I have been able to cry. That is the biggest thing. I feared I never would. But this week the tears have come, though sparingly, but enough to bring me relief.
The cottage awaits my next visit. This second picture is of our Marsh. It's filled with aquatic wildlife. Frogs, turtles, Canadian geese, and a family of swans who think they own the whole place. Our cottage was the place we went to "be". It was the place we visited when our relationship was so new and fragile. We nourished it there and tended it in recent years. I feel so lucky to still be able to go there for refuge and respite. There is something about it that allows me to fully relax. I feel no pressure to do housework, or tend to much at all. And Tom is there in so many places.
I have so many wonderful memories of you my love. You brought out the best in me. You taught me how to trust again. You taught me how to be organized. You taught me how to let go. You taught me how to love. But most importantly, you taught me how to feel loved. You loved me so well!
Thank you for that. Come to me every day if you can. Let me feel that all over again.
Until next time.....Always, Kathleen