Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Grandmothers

                                                           Grandma Grace Barber 1920s
                                                        Kathleen and Grandma Grace 1956

Kathleen 1946


Grandmothers are remarkabke human beings.  They embody Spirits that are able to demonstrate 
unconditional love.   God made Grandmothers because in his Infinite Wisdom He knew that children needed someonoe on this Earth to love them in this way.  I had the most wonderful Grandmother.  I adored her and chose to spend as much time with her as I could.  She was often preferred over my Mother and Father.  Now you might think that had something to do with her spoiling me, but that was not the case.  She never had to ask me to do anythng more than once.  The love I felt in her presence was enough for me.  With her I felt whole, unflawed, perfect.  She nurtured me physically and mentally.  Her every wish was my command because in turn my every wish was her command.  We operated on a mutual admiration level, I could not imagine my life without her in it.  She was instrumental in building the foundation I have used to form the life I have today.  When she died in 
1956 just months after this picture was taken, the lights went out in my heart for a long, long time.  Even as a ten year old I wondered if I would ever be the same again.  But time passed and my heart healed bit by bit.  She was my first experience of loss.  She died in my bedroom on my Dad's Birthday.  I was never afraid in my room.  If anything I took solace in the fact that she had chosen that place to leave me.  I prayed for her, but mostly I prayed to her.  To this day I carry her Holy Card in my Meditation Book and thank her every morning for having been such a powerful influence in my life.  Her dying taught me not to be afraid of death.  I learned early on that death is part of life.
Most improtantly I learned that those we have loved never really leave us.  Instead they are indelibly stamped on the fabric of our being.  What they brought to us is a part of us.  


And now here it is sixty years later, and now I get to be one of those remarkable human beings....a
Grandmother.  I now understand the magic that my Grandma felt.  I felt it the moment I laid eyes on Evelyn four years ago.  Everytime I held her as a baby I whispered to her about all of her perfection and what she would someday accomplish.  I've prayed with her and played with her.  I've danced with her and imagined with her, all the while hoping that she is loving me much as I loved my Grandma.
I am working at making memories with her so that someday she will think of me and know that we shared an incredible time together.  When she is an adult I hope she will thank me for helping her to build a foundation that is solid and strong that she will continue to add to as the years pass. But I really hope she remembers the fun, the silliness and the laughter!

Until nest time....As alwaays, Kathleen 


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